Things have been kind of sliding downhill both emotionally and health-wise. I’ve told one or two of you in private, but I suppose it’s only fair I just have out and say that this constant sickness I refer to is Multiple Scleriosis. I have primary progressive, which is not the kind you see commercials for the on the tee vee with people bouncing around and rock climbing. Those are Relapsing Remitting, whose symptoms tend to face over time before getting worse out of nowhere. If it happens, at all.
From the moment I was showing symptoms, I was already deteriorating. Recently I’ve come to need crutches to walk. I have immense trouble with language, such that this paragraph and a half has taken half an hour to write for various reasons.
Needless to say, this has affected my mental state, both physically and, well, mentally, and it’s suspected that my chronic migraines are a symptom.
What this means is I don’t really know what happens from here on. The type of care I get (and have always received) has been palliative. Twice a year I get an IV drip of Ocrevus, and the rest I just get what care I can get for any new symptoms that crop up, including, now, speech therapy.
Modding is really the only thing I have occupying my time. My hands shake too much (lithium as much as MS) for me to knit and crochet like I used to, or to burn wood. This is what I have. And I’m going to keep typing my stories for you as I can, if I can ask for your patience in return. Blender, ironically, is the only thing that works…well, I won’t say easily because it’s Blender, but well for me. So that’s what I’ll do.
As for now, I’m going to try and take short break. I need to find a happy place.